


Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave

by meerkat2020



Series: The way you said "I love you." [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Betrayal, Break Up, F/M, I made myself so sad writing this, Lyrium Addiction, Not for the light of heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 16:07:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8378686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meerkat2020/pseuds/meerkat2020





	

Violet awoke in his bed, wearing his shirt for pajamas, genuinely happy for the first time in a long time. Cullen slept beside her, snoring softly, the slow, consistent rise and fall of his bare chest a reminder that he was recovering. Careful not to wake him, Violet got up and headed to the bathroom, yawning quietly. The washroom was small, clean but grimy from age; the apartment was older than Violet’s and Cullen’s ages added together. The cold tile floors were chipped in places, the wallpaper was peeling from the humidity of hundreds, if not thousands, of showers, the mirror was spotted with mildew. But it was a familiar place. It smelled of Cullen’s body wash and it smelled of Violet’s perfume and it smelled of Lysol disinfectant spray.

Violet reached for her toothbrush, but froze mid-motion. Her green eyes landed on the little orange bottle laying on the cracked porcelain sink, under a water-damaged copy of  _ Reader’s Digest _ . The plastic was faded from the sun and cracked, and the label had been torn off, but Violet didn’t need to read it to know what was within. She snatched the bottle up, wrenching the white cap off with a twist,  _ just to be sure _ . She tapped the bottle’s mouth against her other hand, and a few small, blue pills the size of her thumbnail spilled into her palm.  _ Lyrium _ . Violet cursed quietly and shoved the pills back into the bottle and screwed the cap back on. Then she stormed back into Cullen’s bedroom, throwing the door open with such force that it crashed against the wall and ricocheted back. Cullen lurched into a sitting position, panicked, honey eyes wide.

“Get up!” Violet screamed at him. His light eyes stared at her in shock, his curls a halo around his head. He took in her thunderous expression, fury in her emerald gaze, shaking with barely-contained anger. Then his eyes landed on the pill bottle clenched in her fist. He froze, eyes widening further as his skin paled.

“How could you?” Violet cried, voice thick with emotion, shaking the orange bottle with a rattle.

“Violet, let me explain,” Cullen pleaded, looking guilty.

Violet didn’t let him continue. “Dammit, Cullen, you said you  _ quit _ . That you were changing, that you wanted nothing more with that life! That you were done with this...this...this  _ poison _ . It’s going to kill you, you know. You...do know that, right?”

Cullen didn’t reply, just swallowed and looked away, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Love, please, listen. Samson... _ he sought me out _ . And I couldn’t say no--I mean, I tried to, I tried, right? I really did!”

“ _ Liar _ ,” Violet hissed between gritted teeth. She chucked the bottle at Cullen’s head, only missing because he ducked. As Violet hastily snatched up her purse and her clothes, Cullen scrambled out of the bed, tossing the blankets aside with abandon. He snapped the bottle up with his long, bruised fingers, then chased after Violet as she ran from his bedroom and through the small, cramped apartment.

Cullen grabbed her arm as she made to wrench open the front door. He turned her to face him and he stared into her green eyes, glistening with unshed tears. “Violet,” he whispered, voice breaking on the last syllable of her name. The lone word was saturated with so much emotion, a sponge sinking to the bottom of an overflowing basin. “Please don’t leave me. I love you.”

Violet couldn’t breathe. She felt so broken, so angry and sad and hopeless. She loved him, too. She wanted to help him. She wanted to fix him. But she couldn’t help someone who didn’t want to be helped. She couldn’t do this anymore. Cullen didn’t want  _ her _ ; he wanted the familiarity and the devotion. Most of all, he wanted the bliss that forgetting gave him. He wanted those fucking pills more than her.

Violet ripped her arm from his grip. She opened the front door, tossing a look back at him over her shoulder, meeting his terrified brown eyes, brimming with tears. Violet opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn’t think of anything to say that was true, that wouldn’t compel herself to stay with him. To watch the same scene on repeat, day after day, like a broken VHS tape, until the picture was too grainy to see anything anymore. No goodbyes, no promises, no I-love-yous. When she finally spoke, she hated how cold, how gray, her voice sounded.

“I’m sorry.”

Then she slammed the door and ran down the hall to the stairs, the tears finally flowing, blurring her vision as she left him. She didn’t know she’d never see him conscious again.


End file.
